Women like "US"

"Patterning your life around other's opinions is nothing more than slavery".~ Lawana Blackwell

I feel compelled to write a piece about a comment I read on one of my favorite blogs written by Cassi, at http://adoptiontruth-casjoh.blogspot.com/.

Cassi wrote a wonderful piece in regards to how a great many AP's take issue with the fact that they have to go through a screening process and be "scrutinized" when they want to adopt the flesh and blood of someone else.

An anonymous commenter posted a comment that read like this:

"Why are you suddenly punching adoptive parents so much? Aren't you supposed to be the one who respects them and wants to hear what they have to say? I guess not I guess that was all a lie to further your agenda. Yes I did have to go through the things you mentioned to adopt my son and I am not afraid to admit that its wrong that I have to be held under such scrutiny when there are other moms who nobody cares how they might treat their children and can walk out of the hospital without anyone asking anything about what kind of parent they will be. And your decision of the kind of parent you are is based on yourself and your opinion and your child's adoptive parents could feel that they were just as good of parents and who would doubt them except for you who comes up with anger and bitterness and excuses for why you must be better than them. Maybe you are just upset because you were unable to give your children the things they deserve and so now you need to beat up on adoptive parents for having what you don't to offer. I really can't imagine any adoptive parent putting any kind of true care into what you write or say because how could they when they are the ones who care and tend for the very children women like you couldn't take care of."

I don't even know where to begin. Let's just break it down, piece by piece, shall we?

"Yes I did have to go through the things you mentioned to adopt my son and I am not afraid to admit that its wrong that I have to be held under such scrutiny when there are other moms who nobody cares how they might treat their children and can walk out of the hospital without anyone asking anything about what kind of parent they will be."

It is wrong WHY? You want to adopt someone ELSE'S child. You should damn well be held under such scrutiny and THEN SOME. Do you think someone is just supposed to hand over their infant to you because you say you are Mrs. Saintly Savior Perfection? You think that someone is just supposed to hand over their infant to you because you have a hefty bank account and a nice big back yard with a pool? Ohhhhh... you are so very special and entitled aren't you? When there are "OTHER MOMS" who walk out of the hospital without anyone asking anything about what kind of parent they will be? Other moms being the women who created, gestated, gained all kinds of weight, had swollen feet and a swollen nose, then went to the hospital to give birth to the child that had come to term inside THEIR body? Oh, you mean those OTHER moms!! The MOTHERS who actually gave birth and will be leaving the hospital with their infants. I get it! You say "other" mothers like you are just like them and have every right to help yourself to their infants. NO, you are not just like them so stop saying "other" mothers like you are a mother who just gave birth and are waiting to go home from the hospital with your baby, like they are.

And let's clear something else up. What business is it of yours what kind a parent someone will be? Are you the "parent police", thinking you are so much better than they are? We are all supposed to pay and be policed and scrutinized because your womb cannot carry a child to term? We ALL have to pay for that; or we would if some of you infertiles had their way. You can't have a child so every fertile woman in existence is going to pay for that. Sick, sick people.

"And your decision of the kind of parent you are is based on yourself and your opinion and your child's adoptive parents could feel that they were just as good of parents and who would doubt them except for you who comes up with anger and bitterness and excuses for why you must be better than them"

The decision of the kind of parent we are is based on ourselves? How about they are OUR children and we had every right to keep and raise them! No adoptive parent would have been a better parent to my child than I would have been. My son's certainly weren't. They looked great on paper who turned out to be lying manipulators, who conned me out of my son with lies. Yeah, they are SOOO much better than me. My son was raised by that. There is no doubt in my mind that I could have and would have been a good mother to my own child. I think I speak for many other mothers of adoption loss when I say that.

"Maybe you are just upset because you were unable to give your children the things they deserve and so now you need to beat up on adoptive parents for having what you don't to offer."

Unable to give them what?? What they deserve?? Who the hell are you to decide what someone else's flesh and blood deserves? A child deserves his mother and father. A child deserves his identity. A child deserves his heritage. A child deserves to be clothed, fed and housed. Could you have provided all of that? NO! You can provide material things and that makes you special why? What infant cares how many toys you can buy him. He/ she needs their mother and the love and nurturing that she can provide. It is in her genetic make-up and pre-pregnancy hormones to provide that love to her infant. The importance of material things is something that is TAUGHT, a great deal of the time by adopters who stress that material things were more important than a child having his natural family. Those children grow up believing this LIE because that is what they were indoctrinated with. Financial situations change. Life situations change. Adoption is a permanent solution to a temporary problem and you know it. Your goal is to get the infant before a mother has time to realize this and by then it is too late. Then someone like you has to audacity to come to a first mother blog and call her bitter and jealous of YOU because you thought you could provide so much more. Get over yourself, please.

"I really can't imagine any adoptive parent putting any kind of true care into what you write or say because how could they when they are the ones who care and tend for the very children women like you couldn't take care of."

And here is the real clincher. "The ones who care and tend for the very children WOMEN LIKE YOU couldn't." Woman like us!!?:? Women like us; who provided you with your prize when we were young, naive, scared and vulnerable, you meant to say. "Women like us", who were perfectly capable of keeping and raising our own children and you know it. You think your money made you such a better option to raise someone else's child? I think not. Women like YOU are all that is wrong with domestic infant adoption. Women like YOU are self entitled, arrogant, self righteous and have no business having someone else's child in your possession. I feel sorry for those children that are.

I am proud of women like US, who have the courage to speak out against what women like YOU did to us. I get a kick out of reading posts by women like YOU, who know that it will all come crashing down for you and your perfect little fantasy one day.